Momina Moin – Writer
Lately, we have come across incidents, I’d rather say tragedies, which have created a sense of fear among the people, especially women in Pakistan, and rightly so. Seems like we are living in some dark age, and there is no light on the other end of the tunnel. Thanks to social media and smart phones that these cases are now coming to surface, more than ever.
I am also surprised at the courage of these men, when they discourage and condemn the feminist movements, and claim that women in Pakistan are safe and are given their due rights, when every day a new story takes over the media and the minds of people. A story which is worse than the previous one.
Another thing that makes everything look more ugly, is the idea of victim blaming. Why did she come out of the house? Why was she wearing that? Why did she go there? Can no one ask these men Why did they not behave like humans? Not a lot of WHY’S in this case. Just a simple one. Why did they not behave like a human?
Blame game is really strong in our society. Some blame the women, some blame the situations they find themselves in, some blame the country. But who should actually be blamed?
Our education system is to be blamed. How can we not create awareness and teach our children from a very young age, about good and bad touch, about how they are supposed to react if they feel someone is behaving inappropriately with them. In many of the child abuse cases, the offender is a family member, or a house help worker or some family friend, a neighbour and the like. The reason children stay silent is because they do not exactly know what is happening with them, they are easily manipulated, they are frightened but they choose not to say anything to anyone. Which leads us to our next problem, i.e bad parenting.
Bad parenting is to be blamed. Children are not given enough confidence to be able to communicate with their parents. They think these topics are not something they can discuss with their parents or guardians. They keep their sufferings to themselves. Majority of rape cases are not even reported. Why? Because the parents think it is better to stay quiet. It’s their daughter who was carrying the entire burden of family’s honour, and now that she has lost it, they have to hide somewhere so that no one can find them. How can they report the case and fight with the perpetrators, they can simply not expose their daughter and let the world know that they no more have the honour that their daughter was supposed to protect. Oh God she failed to protect the one thing that she was given charge of. Another reason for not reporting the case is the poor law enforcement system. Yes, that must be blamed.
Law enforcement agencies of Pakistan are to be blamed. The image of police is beyond bad, and I would again say, rightly so. First of all, if you do not belong to a privileged segment of the society, you will not be treated right in a police station, furthermore if the offender belongs to the so called privileged segment of the society, police will treat them right even inside the prison. To whom it may concern. The system needs to be repaired. The culture of getting away with the crime needs to be ended. The word culture reminds me of the fact, that our culture can also be blamed.
Yes, culture that prevails in the society is to be blamed. The male dominancy should end. Unfortunately this male dominancy starts from the very beginning, in our homes. Raise your boys right. The society is to be blamed. How parents differentiate between their children on the basis of their gender, how your son can get away with everything and your daughter has to be answerable for everything says a lot about what is happening around.
Do not blame your country. Do not blame Pakistan. We, the people of this country are to be blamed, and again, rightly so.
The author can be reached at momeenamoin@gmail.com
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