Momina Moin Writer and Social Activist
It’s more or less a settled fact that gender is a social construction. Simply put, it can be said
that gender is a societal view of biological distinction between a male and a female. Men and
women are just two different kinds of the same specie, much like two different sides of the
same coin; then why should one be subordinate to the other? Why does the society attach
different attributes, roles and expectations to men and women? Why can’t pink be an
androgynous colour, used and appreciated by both men and women equally? Why while writing
binaries, is it always a he/she, and not a she/he? Why should girls always learn how to cook
and take care of a doll’s house, while boys are encouraged to ride bikes and shoot guns. We
live in a gender-biased society, where even so many years down the line, with the
urbanization boom and sizeable educational institutes for women, things seem to have
changed only at the surface level. This is just the tip of the iceberg; the ground realities are
much more disturbing.
Women in Pakistan do acquire higher education and step into professional degrees now more
than ever before, but they are ultimately subjected to the will of their father or husband,
and it boils down to them if they allow her to pursue a career. At times, some women are not
even allowed to attain professional degrees because most institutions are co-ed, and parents
are reluctant to send their daughters in an environment where males and females are
expected to learn and work together. How can economic and socio-cultural progress be
expected in a society where half of its population is not allowed to play any role in the public
sphere and be a productive asset to the economic domain? Hence, the burden of feeding and
providing for half of the population lies on the other half, and unfortunately it is a choice that
men themselves make. One reason behind this remains the desire of men to rule, to dominate
and be in control, to maintain a status quo where it satisfies a man’s ego knowing that his
woman is dependent on him for her smallest to the biggest needs.
These gender-based stereotypes are reinforced by almost all the social institutions and their
imprints are further strengthened overtime. The first and foremost institution in this regard is
the family, where such distinctions are made at a very early stage when a girl is associated
with toys like dolls, kitchen sets, sewing machines, and a boy is given a gun or a car to play
with. It is subconsciously engraved in the mind of a two-year-old baby girl that her life
revolves around her room and from her room to the kitchen. As for a boy, a car or a bike
symbolizes mobility and freedom, and that he has no boundaries to adhere to.
Next come our educational institutions, where pedagogues time and again instill this in the
minds of young students that girls are poorer at mathematics and computer studies as
compared to boys. In fact, it is often shoved into the girls’ faces at a very young age that
their overall intelligence is less than that of boys. Also, that even if they acquire education
and reach a certain level, they are still meant to be house bound for it is the men who are
endowed with the role of being breadwinners. The biggest irony is that the middle class
families who don’t take any family planning measures and ‘think’ they can afford to have a
large family, miserably fail to do so. Ultimately, a choice has to be made and it is not a very
shocking one. Sons over daughters, any day! Reasons typically being the same; ones we all
know about.
Let’s not forget the most important tool that further embosses and emboldens these socially
constructed gender stereotypes especially in an oracy-based country like ours, where words
are powerful; often readily believed and rarely authenticated. Language in such a society
plays an integral role. According to Gramsci, language is a tool to attain hegemony. it has
been an age-old worldwide practice that the one who is powerful hold the stick, calls the
shots and controls the interpretations. It is almost unanimously agreed upon that during the
Era of Imperialism, an important strategy that was employed to serve the interests of the
colonial masters was to glorify their own language. History bears witness to the fact that a
dominant group knows how to legitimise a certain discourse and then uses it to validate its
own actions.
Quite in the same way, the dominant group in our society and generally across the world, are
men. Language in general empowers men, legitimises the gender based stereotypes in such a
way that the female stratum of the society surrenders themselves to the hegemony of the
dominant group willingly. This concept according to Gramsci is termed as ‘spontaneous
consent.’ Women’s mindset evolves in a way that they stay in denial of their disadvantage.
Words used for men and women are different and have different connotations attached to
them. A mister is someone who is a respectable man whereas negative strings are attached
with the word mistress. Think of a few clichés and phrases that have become a part of the
daily lives of people in our society, and if you think they are not gender biased, think again!
Instead of helping to eradicate such stereotypes and ameliorating the situation, we have the
Media to thank for its role in strengthening this bifurcation even further through
advertisements, plays, films, songs and dramas. Advertisements present the best example of
how women are objectified even in the ads which are of no relevance to women. For
instance, in the ad of a shaving foam or a razor where men are glamourized and flaunt their
masculinity and strength, depicting women is unnecessary. However, women feature in the
backdrop with minimal clothes just admiring and looking at men with desire. Another very
typical example of a gender biased advertisement is that of a fairness cream, where a girl is
all hopeless regarding her marriage and apparently no one seems to like her because of her
dark complexion. Then suddenly, she uses a magical fairness cream and everyone in the
gathering is admiring her or she just immediately happens to get married once her
complexion is fair.
What message are we delivering through such advertisements? Are these adverts playing a
productive role or do they just add to the depression, guilt and shame of not being fair and
beautiful enough according to the so-called acceptable standards? Who decides these
standards anyway? There are numerous examples which can be quoted from drama serials in
which women are portrayed as the master mind behind every family fight, and have nothing
to do other than cooking and indulging in family politics. Conversely, men who are depicted as
the innocent and rather indifferent people of the family when it comes to the aforementioned
matters, are just concerned with minting money for the family and are trapped by the wicked
women around them. Even the fairy tales our children grow up watching depict the fact that
the only thing that matters in women is their beauty. All that girls need to be is beautiful so
that someday when they are in deep trouble, a very kind-hearted and handsome prince will
come around and be her savior, because he fell in love with her at first sight. The seven
dwarfs agreed to let Snow White stay in their house on the condition that she will cook for
them and clean the house when they will be out all day working hard in the mines. What
about the item songs in the movies? A woman dancing in scant clothing has nothing to do with
the story line of the film, but still the movie is incomplete without this one song. There is an
endless list which supports and proves the gender biased attitude the society has adopted
even at grassroots level, and with time these stereotypes are nothing but strengthened
through these institutions. It is done to such an extent that the females of the society start to
believe in them as equally as their male counterparts do.
This situation needs to change and the change should be initiated from within the family. The
educational institutions and media need to revisit their strategy and ensure gender-neutral
material is depicted through their forum. There should be an attempt to create literature,
ads, films, songs and plays that are non-sexist in nature. It’s high time we deconstruct this
social construction.
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