The life of a transgender is not easy anywhere in the world but in the eastern part of the world, religious superstitions of people make it even harder at times. Regardless of what they choose to do with their life, societal judgment and stigma attached to their gender never stop haunting them. In our society, transgender and respect do not go together. But there are many courageous people like Faisal Asghar aka Faisal Fezi who have accepted themselves for who they are and leading a life of self-respect and hard work.
In an exclusive interview with The Blind Side, Fezi let it out all that he has gone through his entire life.
Faisal is a Lahore-based trans professional beauty therapist, certified by the Govt of Pakistan. He is currently working as a freelance makeup artist who has made a name in the industry. He aspires to enhance his skills and move abroad to work with international artists.
Faisal has four brothers and a sister. He was in 5th grade when he found out he had dual personalities but he couldn’t decide which one he had to be. As he grew up he realized that the female part of him was dominant and none of his interests were man-like. Unlike other kids of his age, he wanted to put on make-up, Mehendi, girly clothes, and live like a girl.
My parents have always been supportive of me. But I’m more close to my mother. My father is a little strict and whenever he would get angry because of my girly habits, my mother would immediately intervene and protect me.”
Faisal opened his eyes in the small village of district Kasur. He was still young when his mother sent him to Lahore to live with his uncles. He credits his ‘Khala’ for taking care of him when he was away from his parents. She raised him well and encouraged him to study harder. Being the eldest among his siblings, Faisal had no one to guide him so he himself chose the field of mass communication.
My parents did a favor to me by sending me to Lahore. My Khala knew I was different so she would not let me play in street with other kids in order to protect me. It was my dream to do a Master’s in Mass Communication from Punjab University which by the grace of God I have accomplished.
Faisal took his university life as a challenge. His parents had made it clear to him after college that he was at his own. So he started working at a restaurant as a receptionist and a waiter after university to pay his fee. He used to go straight to the restaurant after university and would often return home past 2 in the morning. Once, an attempt of robbing and sexually abusing him was made at him and luckily he was saved by passersby.
Throughout his student life, Faisal was bullied and he had no idea how to face them. All he could do was to avoid them. In university too, he was called names, trolled, and made fun of that made him sit alone on the lawn, cry over his helplessness. He even had to console himself as he had no friends.
“One day, someone catcalled me during the lecture, my professor who was very kind to me, noticed and called me to the rostrum. I decided to talk to my classmates and made a little speech. I made it clear to them I was not going anywhere no matter how much they trolled me. Things did improve after that.”
Two years later, he completed his degree and secured a silver medal. He was one of the few students who were invited to the stage during convocation and given degrees and medals with applause.
Sadly, in spite of having a Master’s degree with distinction, he couldn’t get a government job due to his gender. When he tried to seek a private job, all he could get was harassment and trolling. When he couldn’t get a job, he made use of his instinctive talent and learned makeup and hairstyling with the help of YouTube. In 2018, he cleared the NAVTTC test by the Govt of Pakistan and got a diploma in Beauty Therapy.
Today he is a certified and senior makeup artist of the country. He is a successful fashion and wedding beauty practitioner and has worked with many prominent designers and models. He is very consistent and reliable, as well as being extremely passionate about his craft. His art of enhancing facial aesthetics through makeup, creating custom looks for clients, and dreamy bridal looks have earned him a name in a short time. His dexterity and glamorous work speak volumes about his knack and years of practice.
My biggest motivation was my education. I learned from my teachers at all institutions but the most important lessons I learned were from society.
Following are some glimpses of his art:
Faisal rightfully complains that there are still several norms of society that hold people like him back. Whenever he goes to clients’ houses to do their makeup, the kids over there ask questions like is it he or she? It is the responsibility of the parents to teach their kids what’s appropriate to ask and what’s not. Once while traveling on the metro bus he was bullied by some school students. They bullied him, kicked him, and grabbed his bag like he was a toy.
“I wanted to cry and thought maybe it was actually my fault that even kids can’t let it slip. But it is indeed society’s fault to teach them words like ‘Hijra.’ I have tried to change myself but that’s who I’m and even I can’t change it. People will have to accept me the way I am.”
The societal judgment didn’t spare him even in the mosque.
“Once I was offering prayer behind the cleric in the mosque. After the prayer, an elderly person who looked wise and educated from his appearance pointed towards me asked a fellow what it was like to pray while standing next to me. His remarks really hurt me.”
According to Faisal, although the transgender community has managed to secure some rights in the recent past, there is no guarantee of their implementation. Even if they get jobs, there is no protection for them from harassment and disrespect.
“There are still many question marks. Will people let go of the fact that we are transgenders and accept us.”
Due to this and many other reasons, Faisal wants to move out of Pakistan and settle somewhere in the west where the quality of work and education matters more than gender. He currently does not afford to move to a foreign country on his own but he says if an opportunity appears, he will avail it.
Faisal lives with his family and likes living with them but he does not interact with his relatives and rarely attends any family gatherings. He avoids them as he does not want his parents to receive hurtful or disrespectful remarks because of him. He believes no one can be a replacement for one’s own family but he does miss being with his own community.
“There are things that I cannot share with anyone in my family because they won’t understand. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to find a friend like me. It really makes me happy to spend time with them.”
Leave a Reply