Momina Moin – Writer
Issues of women are in the limelight since past many years, in Pakistan. Waves of feminism and different feminist movements have been active throughout the world, but they have hit different areas at different time. In Pakistan its more or less, a recent development. The women of Pakistan are now becoming more aware of their rights and their limitations. Women all across the globe have raised their voice against this system, which is commonly known as patriarchy. They have achieved many milestones in this journey, but breaking patriarchy seems to be an arduous task. No matter how much they try, patriarchy, still exists in some forms, in every society. Is it so hard to break the patriarchal patterns? Are men so difficult to deal with? Or is it the women who are not letting other women break the status quo?
I believe, it’s harder for women to accept excellence of other women. Women as mothers ensure that their daughter is brought up in a different way than their sons. These women who accept subordination, who accept their dependence on their male counterparts, cannot accept any other women in their vicinity to think otherwise. They tend to believe, that right place of a woman is home, right response of a woman is to surrender and the right voice of a woman is silence. Any woman who they think is not conforming to their definition of right, is wrong. This concept has been named as patriarchal bargain. It means that women themselves preserve and conform to the patriarchal norms and values, they accept the existing gender roles, which altogether suppress women. Mothers, especially in Pakistani households internalize in the minds of their daughters that they should be submissive, they should not let their feelings be voiced, they should not argue about the decisions being made for them, they should learn house management and so on and so forth. Mothers do not give their daughters the wings, through which they can ensure their upward social mobility. Mothers get upset when they cannot find a perfect match for their daughters the moment they cross 20 (in ideal cases) , they are not concerned about their education, about their careers, about their dreams, all they want is a groom for their daughter who’s expiry date, according to them has crossed already.
The daughters after getting married are told to tolerate, compromise and be silent. If their husbands are cheating on them, you will find women all around advising her and telling her that it is perfectly fine and normal, he will be all yours, just stay quiet a couple of years, make him a few children, and let him have some girl presence outside the house as well, so that within a few years he gets to learn what is right and what is not, be nice to him, dress up and put your make up on before he comes home, because obviously if he won’t find you
attractive, it’s your fault, and then of course he is bound to look out for women other than you. I mean it’ll be your fault! I can prolong this for as long as I want to, and I won’t be short of data. Patriarchy exists in every fabric of our society, because women are allowing it to exist. Women who tend to think out of the box, get no support.
NOT EVEN FROM WOMEN? ESPECIALLY FROM WOMEN.
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