Being a woman in a patriarchal system is an uphill battle and being a divorced woman, life becomes difficult manifold for sure. But not for Rameesha Adil Khan, the power-lifting gold-medalist from Lahore Division. She did 100kg squats and 115kgs deadlifts on the district level and won the gold. Her next aim is to represent Pakistan internationally.
Rameesha’s story began like every other desi girl. She got married when she was only 18. Although the marriage had her consent, it was arranged by her parents when she had just stepped out of school.
“I didn’t have any know-how about practical life. I got married after attending 2nd year only for a week. I wanted to complete at least my intermediate, but my in-laws denied me permission. Even then I knew, I had to do something with my life,” Rameesha recalls.
Rameesha soon realized that she was not the kind of girl who could push her life behind and confine herself to marriage, kitchen, and kids. Her marriage lasted for 11 years but unfortunately, she couldn’t have any kids. But instead of following the superstitious rituals told by neighborhood aunties, Rameesha decided to take control of her own life and decided to end her marriage.
“My marriage ended on a very good note. My ex-husband and I calmly went to the divorce attorney’s office, got our certificates, waved at each other, and said our goodbyes with a smile on our faces.”
Rameesha believes support is the most important thing in the life of a girl especially if she goes through a divorce. If a girl has her parents’ support, she can achieve anything in the world but if she lacks the support of her parents, she will not be able to do anything in her life. Rameesha asked for her parents’ permission before going for divorce and they fully supported her.
I’m grateful that I had my parents’ support throughout the process. They have always been there for me in thick and thin. They said they would support my every decision as long as I was happy with it.
Her parents’ support proved enough for Rameesha and she decided to grow beyond the marital bonds. Rameesha also credits her friends and coaches for her success. Whenever she wanted to give up or refused to lift weight due to laziness, her coach would motivate her and get her back on track.
Unlike most girls, Rameesha had a craze for weight-lifting since her childhood.
“Whenever we were expecting guests at our house, I would choose a lifting job like changing the room setting instead of typical girly chores in the kitchen. That’s the reason I joined this field.”
Rameesha has been in this field for 10 years now. She started simply as a gym member. Her lady coach, after seeing her passion encouraged her to become a fitness trainer. Soon Rameesha joined the same gym as the fitness coach after getting the certificate and passing the practical test. It was her first job ever and it proved to be a turning point for her.
Upon being asked what would she say to other women who are waiting for someone to rescue them, Rameesha had a very clear message:
I have one simple message for women of all ages, the life we have is very short, and only once we get it. We should live it on our own terms, in the way we like. Don’t restrict yourself due to fear of what people might say. Because people being people, are going to gossip no matter what you do.
Rameesha comes from a landlord family, where divorce is considered taboo. But due to her parents’ backing, she didn’t have to face any significant issues. Rameesha has 2 sisters who too, are doing great in their lives. Her mother, who is in her fifties, is doing a master’s currently. She has decided to continue her education after a 30-35 years of gap. Rameesha considers her mother as her pillar of support.
“My mother is an inspiration herself. Whenever I’m troubled by anything, I go straight to her. She has been through a lot, but she managed to keep her head up and continue doing her thing.”
From 11 years of marriage without any kids to divorce to opting a career considered not suitable for women to winning a gold medal in weight-lifting, Rameesha is a true depiction of women empowerment. She says if someone tells her that she needs a man in her life, she tells them that she has already married and tried one and it was not worth it. Trembling on the shaking pillars of gender discrimination and pseudo-feminism, our society definitely needs more women like Rameesha who have made not only her family but the whole nation proud.
Leave a Reply