Being a girl child in a male-dominant society is like a race that you lost the moment you were born in an unwanted gender. Although a few rays of enlightenment have reached our dystopia and parents today are determined to provide equal opportunities to their daughters as well, being a girl child however remains challenging on many counts.
The challenge begins at home when the male child is lauded even if he performs average in studies, whereas, the girl is expected to give exceptional performance if she is to lead her own life. This performance pressure is the reason the female child is always the “brighter one” in the family. Life for these bright girls becomes pretty complicated when at a later stage, they realize it is not as simple as the grades. It comes as a shock for the parents along with the girl when a little deviation from the planned success route leads the girl into believing she can’t succeed at something new or challenging.
Heidi Grant Halvorson, psychologist and the author of “Nine Things Successful People Do Differently” writes;
“In my experience, smart and talented girls and women rarely realize that one of the toughest hurdles they’ll have to overcome to be successful lies within. We judge our own abilities not only more harshly, but fundamentally differently than men do.”
“At the 5th-grade level, girls routinely outperform boys in every subject, including math and science but bright girls are much quicker to doubt their ability, to lose confidence, and to become less effective learners as a result.”
This self-doubt and lack of confidence emerge from the general understanding of a girl’s abilities. Parents and teachers, through their feedback, give the girl the impression that “goodness” lies in following the instructions bluntly while closing the doors for experimenting and self-learning.
Boys, on the other hand, are labeled as “trouble makers” and hence are unintentionally allowed to create and solve different situations which come in handy in practical life.
According to psychologist Carol Dweck, author of “the bestselling Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,”
“More often than not, bright girls believe that their abilities are innate and unchangeable, while bright boys believe that they can develop ability through effort and practice.”
This difference in attitude leads the once bright girls into a pit of insecurity and lack of courage where even a minor upset urges her to give up. It is very common for us to see a very motivated and career-oriented girl losing heart and surrendering to the circumstances. For girls, it’s a high way or no way.
If we truly want a society with equal opportunities and responsibilities for women, this major loophole in their upbringing must be covered. It is time to change the ingrained ideas that being “tamed” defines goodness, smartness is an innate ability, and being clever is the only way of being ahead in life. We must help our girls regain confidence and make them realize that it’s the effort, hard work, experience, and persistence that matters in the long run.
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