Rameen Syed Journalist
‘My husband doubts me because I didn’t bleed at my wedding night and he thinks I am not a virgin neither I can prove in any way! (Wait; can HE prove that he is a virgin?)
‘My husband divorced me the day after my wedding night because he couldn’t find any blood stains on ‘white bed sheet’ that was spread especially for the occasion and he believed that I had been sleeping around with other men’. (Although he didn’t provide a white sheet or anything as a proof of his own virginity)
In Nashik district of Maharashtra state of India, there is a ritual in which caste members of a panchayat wait outside the room while the newlywed couple have intercourse on a white piece of cloth as a virginity test for the girl. In an incident, the girl failed the test and her husband divorced her. (Mind you, the husband himself wasn’t a virgin and it was his second marriage.)
Numerous horrendous examples are there in which girls have been disrespected, shamed, divorced and disgraced by their husbands and in laws just because they have one delusion and believe in an unscientific myth, WOMEN MUST BLEED WHEN THEY HAVE INTERCOURSE FOR THE FIRST TIME!
The hymen is a barrier and it “breaks, the hymen breaks the first time you have sex (Or, hymen = “virgin, every woman is born with a hymen, when the hymen stretches/tears, it hurts and causes bleeding, there are countless myths of this kind that has been destroying numerous lives from centuries. Throughout the history, we would witness the association of a family’s pride to the girl’s virginity and cultures across the world placing a high value on a woman’s virginity.
So let’s take a look at some facts that will definitely burst the hymen and female virginity’s myth bubble, SCIENTIFICALLY!!
Hymen is basically a residual tissue that is left over just inside the vaginal opening after the vagina is formed during the embryonic development. It is not some plastic that covers the opening of vagina which would pop open during first intercourse, but it is a ring-like tissue that is present around the edges of vaginal opening. It doesn’t break, it just stretches along the edges into a circular ring of tissue called vaginal corona and helps you menstruate.
There are some rare cases in which membrane covers the opening of vagina and it needs to be removed surgically as otherwise, it won’t allow menstrual blood to come out normally, it may also affect intercourse and tampon usage. This kind of hymen is known as imperforate hymen.
Another unscientific ‘fact’ that circulates among masses is that hymen is rigid, intact and penetrable and hence it is possible to examine the state of hymen and tell if a woman is virgin or not. There was a rumor that Lady Diana was examined by queen’s gynecologist to authenticate her virginity before her marriage with Prince Charles. And to know this through a medical examination is scientifically impossible! The state of hymen cannot tell anything accurately about anyone’s sexual status. It comes in numerous shapes and sizes that it is practically impossible to tell if there is any damage and what caused it. During penetration, it doesn’t tear but gets stretched to accommodate pressure on it. In many cases, some tearing or stretching occurs over time from tampons, gynecological exams or vigorous exercise.
If a woman bleeds or feels discomfort during sexual intercourse, it has nothing to with hymen and here is an interesting scientific fact about it; hymen is made up of an extremely thin tissue with NO BLOOD SUPPLY and breaking it can never cause bleeding! Women might be feeling too nervous during their first time that vaginal lubrication is very poor and not-so-smooth penetration in that state can cause surrounding muscles to rupture, hence it could bleed. But if done properly with calm nerves and lubrication, it could be really comfortable and won’t cause any bleeding.
So all the girls out there, it is really important to educate ourselves about our physiologies and the body we live in so that we can fight off the patriarchal lies that we have been told about our own bodies, consequently being disgraced and slut-shamed. A huge misperception about this tiny little membrane has caused unnecessary fright, anxiety and stigma for far too long. Your confidence, worthiness and right to be happy cannot be determined by the shape of your hymen, don’t let this take over your self-worth. Remember, one who cannot authenticate his own virginity; he doesn’t have any right to know about yours!
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